RNAC HMS Collingwood

[2_deck_dash]

All aboard the minimoke guys, we're off to Cyprus!

Ooooooooooooh!

Gotta love a Green Jacket.

[Alfacharlie]

You can bring the HBM mate...... And a spade.

Don't worry shippers I went to B&Q and purchased a new rape kit at the weekend, I now have a Ford Transit, fully stocked with the following items:

A mattress
HBM x Shitloads
Some digging equipment
Three hole balaclava
Swarfega
Marigold gloves
Cable ties
Cillit Bang
A replica pistol
A cool box containing some snacks and beer for afterwards
Digital camera for those Kodak moments

Have I missed anything?

Travel scrabble.

[2_deck_dash]

You can bring the HBM mate...... And a spade.

Don't worry shippers I went to B&Q and purchased a new rape kit at the weekend, I now have a Ford Transit, fully stocked with the following items:

A mattress
HBM x Shitloads
Some digging equipment
Three hole balaclava
Swarfega
Marigold gloves
Cable ties
Cillit Bang
A replica pistol
A cool box containing some snacks and beer for afterwards
Digital camera for those Kodak moments

Have I missed anything?

Travel scrabble.

Neggers cheggers

Travel Uckers!

[Alfacharlie]

SHAZZAM! Good thinking oopo.

Wafu rules though.

[2_deck_dash]

SHAZZAM! Good thinking oopo.

Wafu rules though.

Get to fcuk.

[Clown_Puncher]

You can bring the HBM mate...... And a spade.

Don't worry shippers I went to B&Q and purchased a new rape kit at the weekend, I now have a Ford Transit, fully stocked with the following items:

A mattress
HBM x Shitloads
Some digging equipment
Three hole balaclava
Swarfega
Marigold gloves
Cable ties
Cillit Bang
A replica pistol
A cool box containing some snacks and beer for afterwards
Digital camera for those Kodak moments

Have I missed anything?

Firstly, ditch the digital camera, for some reason a polaroid is more sinister and you can show them straight away.

You also need:

1. Quicklime.
2. A small portable radio to play surreal Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood songs during the "event".
3. A roll of carpet.
4. Make up. (For you or her, I like to apply lipstick once I've finished and sob whilst looking into the mirror.)
5. Your dead wife's dress to make her wear. (If you are not recently berieved, just a posh dress will do.)
6. A wire coathanger.

That should cover it, but we all have personal preferences.

[2_deck_dash]

So Amy, back on thread, when do you go to Collingwood again?

[Alfacharlie]

Amy, meet me outside Inglefield block at sunset. I'll be wearing overalls and rubber gloves.

[Clown_Puncher]

Amy, meet me outside Inglefield block at sunset. I'll be wearing overalls and rubber gloves.

I'll be in a transit van, you won't see me until I switch on the headlights.

[2_deck_dash]

No Amy, meet me outside Jack's Snacks, I'll be waiting in my Transit.

You better be there or I will find you, I know where you live, don't stand me up or you will regret it.