Homosexuality - It's just not for me.

[Taloolah]

It's been a long summer leave, I've been back from my holiday a while, all my selfish mates have jobs or are in prison, the missus is out soliciting and the kids are in the cellar, so I have to find ways of filling my day.

Anyway, whilst out for a run today, I saw a number of extremely hot chicks doing the same, nicely toned in tiny little shorts, sweat glistening off their tanned calves, brilliant. As I was passing the Angel of the North though, I saw two fat ugly middle aged dudes holding hands, one then proceeded to delicatley stroke the small of his oppos back "ooh look" thought I "Gayers".

Now, it was a long run and my iPod charge had died so my mind began to work overtime, why? Why? with all these amazing chicks around do dudes fancy dudes? Women are AWESOME they have tits and fannys and no beards and nice legs and they just rock. Why wouldn't you want to have sex with as many of them as possible?

At home, this conundrum continued to bug me, then I had a Eureka moment "ASS-LOVE!" It is the only explanation, I like a good ring dhoby plus I know chicks that dig it too, perhaps some blokes just love it up their ricker so much that they can't be arsed with chicks.

So, in the bath I tested the theory by ramming a finger up my hoop... nothing, I tried having a wank at the same time.. nothing, it just felt like trying to have a wank whilst needing a big sh1t. I decided that finger was too small so tried to cram a foamburst can up there, no joy. So I concluded that my theory was rubbish and fcuked it off.

I then proceeded upstairs and put on a pair of my missus jeans, one of her t-shirts and tied a desert shemagh around my neck to complete "the look" and tried watching X factor, Big Brother, a Brittney Spears bio on E! and some Gok Wan, I even tried watching some Tennis but no, I still just wanted to go and rag some bird. The internet provided some gay porn but that just made my laugh and I kept getting distracted by littlemissspunkguzzler69 from Sunderland IM'ing me to meet up for a fcuk and to show me her webcam vids.

So my dabble with homosexuality has come to an end, and sorry, it just isn't for me. You can't say I haven't tried though, and feel I have an improved understanding of our beef brethren.

I just don't like dudes.

Shoulda tried a carrot. Nicely skinned and moist. Works a treat.
Who know's ? The final outcome could have been very, very different.

[SkullFuct]

It's been a long summer leave, I've been back from my holiday a while, all my selfish mates have jobs or are in prison, the missus is out soliciting and the kids are in the cellar, so I have to find ways of filling my day.

Anyway, whilst out for a run today, I saw a number of extremely hot chicks doing the same, nicely toned in tiny little shorts, sweat glistening off their tanned calves, brilliant. As I was passing the Angel of the North though, I saw two fat ugly middle aged dudes holding hands, one then proceeded to delicatley stroke the small of his oppos back "ooh look" thought I "Gayers".

Now, it was a long run and my iPod charge had died so my mind began to work overtime, why? Why? with all these amazing chicks around do dudes fancy dudes? Women are AWESOME they have tits and fannys and no beards and nice legs and they just rock. Why wouldn't you want to have sex with as many of them as possible?

At home, this conundrum continued to bug me, then I had a Eureka moment "ASS-LOVE!" It is the only explanation, I like a good ring dhoby plus I know chicks that dig it too, perhaps some blokes just love it up their ricker so much that they can't be arsed with chicks.

So, in the bath I tested the theory by ramming a finger up my hoop... nothing, I tried having a wank at the same time.. nothing, it just felt like trying to have a wank whilst needing a big sh1t. I decided that finger was too small so tried to cram a foamburst can up there, no joy. So I concluded that my theory was rubbish and fcuked it off.

I then proceeded upstairs and put on a pair of my missus jeans, one of her t-shirts and tied a desert shemagh around my neck to complete "the look" and tried watching X factor, Big Brother, a Brittney Spears bio on E! and some Gok Wan, I even tried watching some Tennis but no, I still just wanted to go and rag some bird. The internet provided some gay porn but that just made my laugh and I kept getting distracted by littlemissspunkguzzler69 from Sunderland IM'ing me to meet up for a fcuk and to show me her webcam vids.

So my dabble with homosexuality has come to an end, and sorry, it just isn't for me. You can't say I haven't tried though, and feel I have an improved understanding of our beef brethren.

I just don't like dudes.

Shoulda tried a carrot. Nicely skinned and moist. Works a treat.
Who know's ? The final outcome could have been very, very different.

You know Taloolah, I'm quite tempted to chuck one up your gusset out of sympathy after reading that.

[Taloolah]

It's been a long summer leave, I've been back from my holiday a while, all my selfish mates have jobs or are in prison, the missus is out soliciting and the kids are in the cellar, so I have to find ways of filling my day.

Anyway, whilst out for a run today, I saw a number of extremely hot chicks doing the same, nicely toned in tiny little shorts, sweat glistening off their tanned calves, brilliant. As I was passing the Angel of the North though, I saw two fat ugly middle aged dudes holding hands, one then proceeded to delicatley stroke the small of his oppos back "ooh look" thought I "Gayers".

Now, it was a long run and my iPod charge had died so my mind began to work overtime, why? Why? with all these amazing chicks around do dudes fancy dudes? Women are AWESOME they have tits and fannys and no beards and nice legs and they just rock. Why wouldn't you want to have sex with as many of them as possible?

At home, this conundrum continued to bug me, then I had a Eureka moment "ASS-LOVE!" It is the only explanation, I like a good ring dhoby plus I know chicks that dig it too, perhaps some blokes just love it up their ricker so much that they can't be arsed with chicks.

So, in the bath I tested the theory by ramming a finger up my hoop... nothing, I tried having a wank at the same time.. nothing, it just felt like trying to have a wank whilst needing a big sh1t. I decided that finger was too small so tried to cram a foamburst can up there, no joy. So I concluded that my theory was rubbish and fcuked it off.

I then proceeded upstairs and put on a pair of my missus jeans, one of her t-shirts and tied a desert shemagh around my neck to complete "the look" and tried watching X factor, Big Brother, a Brittney Spears bio on E! and some Gok Wan, I even tried watching some Tennis but no, I still just wanted to go and rag some bird. The internet provided some gay porn but that just made my laugh and I kept getting distracted by littlemissspunkguzzler69 from Sunderland IM'ing me to meet up for a fcuk and to show me her webcam vids.

So my dabble with homosexuality has come to an end, and sorry, it just isn't for me. You can't say I haven't tried though, and feel I have an improved understanding of our beef brethren.

I just don't like dudes.

Shoulda tried a carrot. Nicely skinned and moist. Works a treat.
Who know's ? The final outcome could have been very, very different.

You know Taloolah, I'm quite tempted to chuck one up your gusset out of sympathy after reading that.

Gee Skully. Seeing you and I don't know each other, I'm touched by the offer, but you know, really, don't exert yourself on my account. Business is kinda taken care of, thanks. Besides. I doubt you're big enough

[WhizzbangDai]

ooo, Burn

[Taloolah]

ooo, Burn

Nah, being cruel to be kind. Thought it better to waylay him in lieu of the soggy wet shit that's abrewing, courtesy of Shicken Korma.

As for the carrot, heard it worked for a quadraplegic, til the poor sod had his arse perforated with the carrot tip. Some people have no luck.

[sussex2]

It's been a long summer leave, I've been back from my holiday a while, all my selfish mates have jobs or are in prison, the missus is out soliciting and the kids are in the cellar, so I have to find ways of filling my day.

Anyway, whilst out for a run today, I saw a number of extremely hot chicks doing the same, nicely toned in tiny little shorts, sweat glistening off their tanned calves, brilliant. As I was passing the Angel of the North though, I saw two fat ugly middle aged dudes holding hands, one then proceeded to delicatley stroke the small of his oppos back "ooh look" thought I "Gayers".

Now, it was a long run and my iPod charge had died so my mind began to work overtime, why? Why? with all these amazing chicks around do dudes fancy dudes? Women are AWESOME they have tits and fannys and no beards and nice legs and they just rock. Why wouldn't you want to have sex with as many of them as possible?

At home, this conundrum continued to bug me, then I had a Eureka moment "ASS-LOVE!" It is the only explanation, I like a good ring dhoby plus I know chicks that dig it too, perhaps some blokes just love it up their ricker so much that they can't be arsed with chicks.

So, in the bath I tested the theory by ramming a finger up my hoop... nothing, I tried having a wank at the same time.. nothing, it just felt like trying to have a wank whilst needing a big sh1t. I decided that finger was too small so tried to cram a foamburst can up there, no joy. So I concluded that my theory was rubbish and fcuked it off.

I then proceeded upstairs and put on a pair of my missus jeans, one of her t-shirts and tied a desert shemagh around my neck to complete "the look" and tried watching X factor, Big Brother, a Brittney Spears bio on E! and some Gok Wan, I even tried watching some Tennis but no, I still just wanted to go and rag some bird. The internet provided some gay porn but that just made my laugh and I kept getting distracted by littlemissspunkguzzler69 from Sunderland IM'ing me to meet up for a fcuk and to show me her webcam vids.

So my dabble with homosexuality has come to an end, and sorry, it just isn't for me. You can't say I haven't tried though, and feel I have an improved understanding of our beef brethren.

I just don't like dudes.

We are all blessed, and relieved, that you decided to go no further.

[Matt_89]

Great informative bit of research that and neary made me spit my drink over the screen!

[sussex2]

I just don't like dudes.

On behalf of my people, I thank the powers that be for that one comment.....

Lad's we're all safe, we can come out and play now..... :P

Strange isn't it mate that he confuses homosexuality with a single, self inflicted, sexual act. Now if Mr Pirate had called it a 'same sex' act then he'd have been getting somewhere.
Come to think of it I believe the old pirates were a bit adept at taking turns in the barrel.

[Montigny_La_Palisse]

I just don't like dudes.

On behalf of my people, I thank the powers that be for that one comment.....

Lad's we're all safe, we can come out and play now..... :P

Strange isn't it mate that he confuses homosexuality with a single, self inflicted, sexual act. Now Mr Pirate had called it a 'same sex' act then he'd have been getting somewhere.

Which is exactly why I'm going to go to the powerhouse at the weekend and see if I can get leathered on Pimms and trap a bumder, the research continues and I'll let you know how I get on.

[sussex2]

It's been a long summer leave, I've been back from my holiday a while, all my selfish mates have jobs or are in prison, the missus is out soliciting and the kids are in the cellar, so I have to find ways of filling my day.

Anyway, whilst out for a run today, I saw a number of extremely hot chicks doing the same, nicely toned in tiny little shorts, sweat glistening off their tanned calves, brilliant. As I was passing the Angel of the North though, I saw two fat ugly middle aged dudes holding hands, one then proceeded to delicatley stroke the small of his oppos back "ooh look" thought I "Gayers".

Now, it was a long run and my iPod charge had died so my mind began to work overtime, why? Why? with all these amazing chicks around do dudes fancy dudes? Women are AWESOME they have tits and fannys and no beards and nice legs and they just rock. Why wouldn't you want to have sex with as many of them as possible?

At home, this conundrum continued to bug me, then I had a Eureka moment "ASS-LOVE!" It is the only explanation, I like a good ring dhoby plus I know chicks that dig it too, perhaps some blokes just love it up their ricker so much that they can't be arsed with chicks.

So, in the bath I tested the theory by ramming a finger up my hoop... nothing, I tried having a wank at the same time.. nothing, it just felt like trying to have a wank whilst needing a big sh1t. I decided that finger was too small so tried to cram a foamburst can up there, no joy. So I concluded that my theory was rubbish and fcuked it off.

I then proceeded upstairs and put on a pair of my missus jeans, one of her t-shirts and tied a desert shemagh around my neck to complete "the look" and tried watching X factor, Big Brother, a Brittney Spears bio on E! and some Gok Wan, I even tried watching some Tennis but no, I still just wanted to go and rag some bird. The internet provided some gay porn but that just made my laugh and I kept getting distracted by littlemissspunkguzzler69 from Sunderland IM'ing me to meet up for a fcuk and to show me her webcam vids.

So my dabble with homosexuality has come to an end, and sorry, it just isn't for me. You can't say I haven't tried though, and feel I have an improved understanding of our beef brethren.

I just don't like dudes.

I basically disagree that womens legs are great. They are hairless, thus no good at all at taking the place of a scarf on cold winter evenings.