Rum Ration
the Navy Network

IT SENT THAT B##TARD THE CURSING BE AND FANNY PROPER
A FEEL YOU'LL BACKWARDS THIS READ TO BOTHERED YOU'VE
TIME THE BY.

WOMEN EH !
BOOB JOBS,BOTOX,
PIERCED EARS-NIPPLES-BELLY'S & CLITS,
EYEBROWS PLUCKED,BIKINI LINES & LEGS WAXED,
& THEY WONT TAKE IT UP THE A##E COZ IT HURTS

THE POST OFFICE HAVE JUST RELEASED A NEW STAMP
IN THE SHAPE OF A CLIORIS,IT'S NOT SELLING TOO WELL..

AS ONLY 3% OF THE POPULATION KNOW HOW TO LICK IT PROPERLY

TURN THE FCKING CAPS LOCK OFF, YOU TWONK

Keeping it v clean for the present.........

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor???



You can't dip sailors in your boiled egg!!

Hakimara and joshimuru are two public workers for Tokyo city council. They have both been employed by the council for thirty years cleaning the city' sewers. Both are invited to a ceremony to honour workers for long service and attend with their families.

The mayor calls Hakimara and Joshimuru onto the stage to present their awards.

"Tell me Hakiimara", says the Mayor, "You have both been doing this job for thirty years now without complaint and without either of you taking a day sick or industrial action. You must be happy in your work"

Hakimara tells the mayor that he has indeed enjoyed his work over the many years and smiles proudly as his medal is awarded.

The mayor turns to Joshimuru and say, "Well Joshimuru, it is indded and honour to meet two such dedicated workers. You must know each other very well after working together for so long".

Jushimuru replies "Honourable Mayor, I am sad to say that Hakimara and I have never met before. He always works a 12 hour night shift and I always work a 12 hour day shift. Until today we had never met despite both of us working to maintain the sewers of the city in pristine condition for thirty years.

The mayor turns again to Hakimara and says, "Surely Hakimara this cannot be true. You have never met in thirty years? Can this really be the case?"

Hakimara looks at the Mayor and says

"Honourable mayor, it is indded true, we are like two nips that pass in the shite!"

I was out walking my dog yesterday when I came into a large clearing in a woods at the end of a rutted and muddy track. There I saw a man standing at the rear of a Scania rigid lorry. He had his trousers round his ankles and he was thrusting back and forward with his buttocks. As i came closer I saw that he had his penis in the exhaust pipe and was in the throes of ecstasy as he shagged the tailpipe. I ran to a phone and called the police who warned me not to approach the male. They had dealt with him before and they believed he was HGV positive!

Extract from the latest Mills & Boon Novel…With writing like this there really is no need for pictures…

We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon. The warm breeze was full of that earthy, musky scent that only the fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know, and a quiet whispering of leaves in the weeping willo overhead added the final touch to the most romantic scene. We lay there, both naked. I knew I had to have her and have her now.

Without a word being spoken, I moved to a position of domininance. I could feel imstantly that this was what she wa waiting for as she frantically thrust her pelvis at my approaching organ. I moved slowly at first. Inch by inch. Until I was fully inside her.

Then as the tension rose, we threw caution to the wind and abandoned ourselves to the moment.

Although inexperienced, she approached every change of position with enthusiasm, moaing with despair every time I withdres to prevent myself from ending it all too soon. As the sexual tension heightened towards the inevitable mind blowing climax, it was all I could do to hold out longer. Finally, the moment we had been building up to was upon us, and passed all too quickly

Breathlessly we rolled together in the now damp grass. As the last deep orange glow of the setting sun melted into the darkness of approaching night, we lay there still entwined in an amourous embrace. I kissed her long and lovingly, and whispered reassuringly how good she had been.

She tenderly and sensuously licked my inner ear then whispered ‘Baaaaaaaaaaaa” and rejoined the flock.

This book is only for sale in New Zealand, Scapa Flow, Wales and certain parts of Derbyshire