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Discuss Grief.... in Nearest & Dearest on Navy Net; Johne
You have my deepest sympathies. There is no shame, or trouble, in sharing your grief as you remember one so close....
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About LinkBacks- 12-07-09, 07:41 #11Moderator
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Re: Grief....
Johne
You have my deepest sympathies. There is no shame, or trouble, in sharing your grief as you remember one so close.What exactly is the benefit of doubt?
12-07-09, 08:00 #12Member 
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Re: Grief....
Johne
My most sincere condolences for your loss, although I'm far too young to have known someone for as long as you have, and hence have no idea how terrible this must be for you, I know how hard it is to lose someone you love so dearly, and is such a huge part of your life.
Hang in there, stick with your girls and together you can all get through it. I hope you can all find peace again, with the support of your family and friends.
Best wishes.
12-07-09, 08:14 #13Senior Member 
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Re: Grief....
Take your time and make no quick decisions, only you know how you feel. Take any kindly meant advice with a pinch of salt and do what suits you best, be selfish if you will. Do not be pressured by others!
Try to look after yourself physically, don't under/over eat and drink especially. Watch out for yourself and be careful, your mind is not completely on what you are doing.
There is no magic recipe for recovery and no set time frame either.
Best of luck to you and your girls, and so sorry for you.First they ignore you, then they mock you, then they fight you, then you win.
Ghandi
The only future you do not know is the history you haven't studied.
Churchill
An unjust law is a code that a majority inflicts on a minority that is not binding on itself.
This is difference made legal.
On the other hand a just law is a code that a majority compels a minority to follow that it is willing to follow itself.
This is sameness made legal. . . .”
Martin Luther King
12-07-09, 20:25 #14Re: Grief....
Johne
sorry to hear and read about your loss. Lost my Wife unexpectedly 6 years ago ---too young to pass away . Usual work all your days and when its time to enjoy retirement one of you crosses the bar.
I had a very long talk discussion with our local 'minister' and what she said made sense --the three stages of grief.
You will get through it ----but it takes a lot of willpower on your part . You'll never fully be memories free either but as mentioned time heals .
Think of the future whats passed is passed and whats for you is still the future--life does go on and you are still part of it.
Take care
G.Level of education does not measure level of intelligence
14-07-09, 07:47 #15Re: Grief....
Just to let you know that you are still in our thoughts, Johne.
14-07-09, 08:21 #16Senior Member 
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Re: Grief....
Johne mate,
I'm gash at these things but because I think you're a top bloke I felt I had to reply.
I'm not going to offer you any advice because I'm not in a position to but my thoughts are with you.
I'm sorry for your loss and wish you and your girls all the best.
14-07-09, 09:05 #17Re: Grief....
Johne, I'm also crap at the condolences thing, so I'll just wish you well and also wish you the strength to get you and your daughters through these first hard days.
janner
14-07-09, 11:49 #18Re: Grief....
Johne
Just to say that I have heard good things about these people, if it helps to talk:
http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/
14-07-09, 12:04 #19Senior Member
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Re: Grief....
Johne, words seem little at times like this - considering your last message, hope you're making it through ?
Echoing Soleil- if you are the sort to accept help from others, Cruse was good in helping a close friend of mine when her hubbie died - another one, too young. That was 13 years ago. She never forgot him but is living today as is their son.
One day at a time, bubba. Don't worry about the rest of your life, it will rise up to meet you. Whilst this loss and grief is yours,you're not totally alone, don't forget that when your head hits the pillow at night.
Post anytime you want for however long it takes, we're all right here.
Txx'He is not missing. He is here'.
Field Marshal Lord Plumer, 24th July 1927, Menin Gate.
14-07-09, 13:13 #20Re: Grief....
Johne
Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your lovely wife.
I know everyone feels differently when you lose a loved one, I know having lost my husband to Cancer in 2005.It is OK to feel angry with both yourself and your lovely lady for leaving you,I went through all the emotions you can manage.I felt my life was over having spent 26 years with him.
The grief will not always be as raw but it will always be with you.Remember all the good times they will see you through this horrible time.
A bit of advice that someone gave me and I hope this will help you,it certainly helped me.
When you lose a loved one you are left with grief,picture it as a boulder a sold rock.Some people never go near the boulder they merely carry on with their life.Other people pick up the boulder carry it for a while and then put it down in a specia l place,they never forget it and visit it occassionally.Other people pick up the boulder and carry it for the rest of their life and never put it down and suffer the weight of it all of their remaining life.The choice is yours and yours alone.
I hope that you do not think I am lecturing you.
You are in my thoughts and prayers
Jacqueline
xx
Cherish those 2 lovely daughters I was never blessed with childrenLife is like a drawing with no eraser!!!
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