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the Navy Network

**noshmon** · 11-07-12, 08:08

Got awful crazy I wish we'd taped it. Actually, I really don't

A mate of mine has just been accepted as a pongo. I found myself on a train home last night because I intended to go for a run along the beach instead of running home from work like I normally do.

I decided to text this mate as he lives quite near the station and I've just been given a credit card. Said card had to be tested and I decided the pub was the best place for it.

What started as "A pint or two" ended up with us going down the karaoke bar, me grabbing a random poof and singing "Mickey" with him (turns out his name was Mikey. Weird that), and said pongo puking all over me half way through my drunken interpretation of "Bike" by Pink Floyd.

For some reason the bar staff said "You two are like seagulls! You come in hear, you make a lot of noise, you disrupt the normal working of everything, make a mess and the leave". My reply of "That's unfair! We haven't left" was met with "You are now. Fuck off!" so we did. I grabbed a fat ginger hippocrocogrillapig on the way out and took her back to the pongos, stopping only for a kebab on the way.

When we got to his the pongo promptly passed out in his kebab so I did the decent thing and laughed before going balls deep in the gwar on his couch. My mate wakes up just as I'm spraying on her back, laughs, calls me a cnut, and pisses off to bed.

This morning I woke up wondering how I'm not dead. I got on the train to work and grand slammed. I'm now covered in her gash juice, his puke, my everything, and everyone's drink. I'm sat in the office feeling as useful as a para in a maths test and growling at anyone that asks why I smell so bad and why I'm covered in scratches.

To get to the point, should I have had an egg with my bacon sarnie this morning?

**tentoes** · 11-07-12, 08:44

Originally Posted by noshmon

To get to the point, should I have had an egg with my bacon sarnie this morning?

Why on earth would you make such a drastic change to your daily routine?

**noshmon** · 11-07-12, 08:46

Well I didn't have time for a wank this morning so I'd already changed my routine drastically as it was

**tentoes** · 11-07-12, 08:53

Originally Posted by noshmon

Well I didn't have time for a wank this morning so I'd already changed my routine drastically as it was

Didn't have time? But you come across as being so adept at it!

**noshmon** · 11-07-12, 08:55

Exactly. Leaving the house without one was a traumatic experience!

**Sharkey** · 11-07-12, 09:05

Originally Posted by noshmon

Got awful crazy I wish we'd taped it. Actually, I really don't

A mate of mine has just been accepted as a pongo. I found myself on a train home last night because I intended to go for a run along the beach instead of running home from work like I normally do.

I decided to text this mate as he lives quite near the station and I've just been given a credit card. Said card had to be tested and I decided the pub was the best place for it.

What started as "A pint or two" ended up with us going down the karaoke bar, me grabbing a random poof and singing "Mickey" with him (turns out his name was Mikey. Weird that), and said pongo puking all over me half way through my drunken interpretation of "Bike" by Pink Floyd.

For some reason the bar staff said "You two are like seagulls! You come in hear, you make a lot of noise, you disrupt the normal working of everything, make a mess and the leave". My reply of "That's unfair! We haven't left" was met with "You are now. Fuck off!" so we did. I grabbed a fat ginger hippocrocogrillapig on the way out and took her back to the pongos, stopping only for a kebab on the way.

When we got to his the pongo promptly passed out in his kebab so I did the decent thing and laughed before going balls deep in the gwar on his couch. My mate wakes up just as I'm spraying on her back, laughs, calls me a cnut, and pisses off to bed.

This morning I woke up wondering how I'm not dead. I got on the train to work and grand slammed. I'm now covered in her gash juice, his puke, my everything, and everyone's drink. I'm sat in the office feeling as useful as a para in a maths test and growling at anyone that asks why I smell so bad and why I'm covered in scratches.

To get to the point, should I have had an egg with my bacon sarnie this morning?

The filthy language you use, the puerile behavior you describe in

ing detail, your complete lack of social graces and disregard for everybody male or female that has to witness your childlike antics coupled with your seeming determination to drink and abuse yourself into an early grave mark you out as someone who will go far in the mob, well done keep up the good work.

**noshmon** · 11-07-12, 09:22

Originally Posted by Sharkey

The filthy language you use, the puerile behavior you describe in

ing detail, your complete lack of social graces and disregard for everybody male or female that has to witness your childlike antics coupled with your seeming determination to drink and abuse yourself into an early grave mark you out as someone who will go far in the mob, well done keep up the good work.

Haha! Thanks Sharkey. Can I put that on my CV?

**Rumrat** · 11-07-12, 09:34

Well I for one think that this kind of

ing behaviour, showing complete lack of feeling for your fellow human brothers marks you out as just a typical honky bastard.
I bet your ansestors raped my ancestors and transported them to a completely different life. Ripping them away from all they held dear and were accustomed too.
They was quite content to live on the Jasmin Allen estate, why move them to Brixham?
White bastard.

**noshmon** · 11-07-12, 09:44

Originally Posted by Rumrat

Well I for one think that this kind of

ing behaviour, showing complete lack of feeling for your fellow human brothers marks you out as just a typical honky bastard.
I bet your ansestors raped my ancestors and transported them to a completely different life. Ripping them away from all they held dear and were accustomed too.
They was quite content to live on the Jasmin Allen estate, why move them to Brixham?
White bastard.

Your just jealous because you want raping too

**WreckerL** · 11-07-12, 09:49

Ignore the "bruther" noshers, he's not feeling well. He's spun some dit about being ill in hospital when what really happened was someone outside his local shouted out they wanted a fast black, he stepped forward and was promptly run over by a taxi!