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**Sumo** · 16-08-12, 06:40

Originally Posted by BillyNoMates

Normally, after some 12 weeks (in the same Y-fronts) hand-jobs lose their attraction and so a more inventive approach to cracking one off is required.........even if it means requesting some assistance from an oppo or two. However - be warned! Your helmet will probably taste like a snorker that's been lost under the galley range for a month or two, only to reappear when the boat does angles'n'dangles. Sort of a pungent blend of raw gone-off pork and parmesan cheese. If you have to chew yourself in these circumstances, top your gob up with Sharps Extra Strong Mints before you commence to pleasure yourself.

The images in my head just got worse, there is now a taste involved?

**Sumo** · 16-08-12, 07:05

I do remember a dit about two Benders that were hot bunking, one would always leave the other some wet tissues in the bunk at change over, a little pissed at this he collected them and dropped them in his scan, he didn't bat an eye lip just moved them to one side of his plate and kept eating, when asked why he did not clean his bunk out, reply I thought you would like the smell, there are some sick people on Boats.

**BillyNoMates** · 16-08-12, 14:26

It was fun knockin' one out into the mouthpiece of the sound-powered telephone at 35 Bulkhead Door......into the eypieces of the 1st Lieutenants binoculars...in fact anywhere to anyone who had royally pissed you off for some reason or another. A personal favourite of mine was tryin' to blow your wad down the top of the SCO's toothpaste tube. Takes a steady hand, a good aim and the ability to get said toothpaste back into the blokes dhobey-bag without him noticing. Revenge is a jizz best served cold.

**Sharkey** · 16-08-12, 15:22

Bill if you ever invite me round for tea, you'll understand if I say no ta, wont you

**Sumo** · 17-08-12, 06:24

Bill you are a sick sick man, ditto Sharkey, we would never know if the floater on the tea was cream or other???

**Sharkey** · 17-08-12, 09:30

Originally Posted by Sumo

Bill you are a sick sick man, ditto Sharkey, we would never know if the floater on the tea was cream or other???

Thanks Sumo, to be put up there with Bill is a real honor, this will cause some envy in these circles.

Knew a couple of blokes trapped a brownhatter, went back to his place, told him to make them some bacon butts, he brings one which one of the lads scoffs down, their new chum disappears back into the kitchen to make another one, the other lad goes into the kitchen and finds the chef knocking one off onto the second sarnie, tasty!

**Sumo** · 17-08-12, 09:34

Originally Posted by Sharkey

Thanks Sumo, to be put up there with Bill is a real honor, this will cause some envy in these circles.

Knew a couple of blokes trapped a brownhatter, went back to his place, told him to make them some bacon butts, he brings one which one of the lads scoffs down, their new chum disappears back into the kitchen to make another one, the other lad goes into the kitchen and finds the chef knocking one off onto the second sarnie, tasty!

Bacon butty must have been a biy salty?