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the Navy Network

Originally Posted by Mou Sea

Nah, we live in west Wales, Darlin too posh!

O ewe ...

Originally Posted by Mou Sea

Nah, we live in west Wales, Darlin too posh!

...and a bit too formal, given that you're all related to each other!

My absent builders are all related to each other, how did you know? Are they working for you on the sly? The bastards...so that's where they are!

Apart from gristly sausages, I also hate the fact that I'm not allowed to watch Series 2 of*The Walking Dead* on my big f*ck off television because her indoors says it's "too violent and horrible". Instead, she flashes up *Virgin On-Demand* and watches back issues of "Embarrasing Bodies" - which usually entails having to observe some hairy-backed fat bloke getting a quarter-pound boil on the end of his knob lanced and drained.You just can't beat watching a litre of dark yellow pus, laced with the odd streak of blood spurting all over the place....it's either his knob and bollocks that get the cameras full attention, or they just shove a 3D Hi-Definition camera up his arse to try and find out why he hasn't had a shit in three months. Now a 72 inch Hi-Def telly gives one a fu**ing marvellous view, as the camera ploughs ever-on upwards through this pathetic individuals arse-tubes, pipes and valves, trying to sort out the problem and entertain the viewing public....that is until the doctor loses the picture because a solitary faeces-encrusted and undigested Heinz baked bean gets stuck on the camera lens,thus ruining any chances of a diagnosis live on air.Then, of course there's the minging bitch with a problem "down below". Up on the couch she goes, down go the nickers, open go the legs and in goes the doctor, to appear some seconds later with what looks like lukewarm wallpaper paste dripping off his Marigold gloves. "It's a yeast infection", says he.YEAST INFECTION ??!! F*ck me! There's enough jelly-like matter dribbling off the doctors couch and onto his hardwood floor to either (a) Hang half a dozen rolls of Anaglypta or(b) Get a few kilos of bread mix going. "Embarrassing Bodies" should really be entitled*Gopping knobs, balls, fudge tunnels and front bottoms", because that's all they're bloody interested in. "Hello Doc? Look - I've got this strange lump on my left elbow.....""Your left elbow eh? - you haven't got any blood filled warts on your ring-piece the size of a Dominoes Family Pizza then?" "I'm afraid not doctor...." "Well that's a shame because there's not much I can do for you.......a lumpy elbow looks pretty fu**ing boring in 3D and Hi-Definition.........NEXT!" And I've got to sit through this stuff with my tea on my lap, instead of watching some macho fu*ker blowing Zombies brains out of the back of their dead heads. Bollocks to it - I shall download Series 2 from a Torrent Site and watch the whole fu**ing lot at work.

Fair point Bill, woman says she is too embarssed to go to her Doctor with her "problem" next thing she is flashing her snatch at 5 million strangers.

The "last 50" on here not working. Plus concur with BNM and Sharkey, if your too embarrassed to visit the doc's how come you can you flash your gash on the telly and let everyone see?

So would you for two tins, Wrecker!

Negative, a crate however is another story.