Rum Ration
the Navy Network

If you purchase some Luncheon Meat from the
meat counter at Morrisons and take it home and then
pop each circular slice into your CD player individually,
one of them will eventually play the theme tune from the
hit movie "Chariots of Fire".

Originally Posted by Blackrat

...In Russia, it is a crime to put a spoon in with the forks.

Fcuk Russia, It a crime in this house..!!

Did you know that England will win this years world cup and in 2019 also.

Originally Posted by bikerman

Did you know that England will win this years world cup and in 2019 also.

Very good

Cheese is not actually a dairy product, as once thought, it is in fact produced from the nasal deposits of children in Bernados Homes or other Orphanages.

Red wine is responsible for the deaths of millions.The dubious research attributing Red Wine numerous health benefits was carried out on behalf of the Burgundian Wine Cartel the worlds second largest Organised Crime gang after the Russian Mafia.

Smoking must be good for you, as when you pass a hospital all the Nurses and Doctors are outside tabbing like mad before they return to continue their latest Industrial Action.

Building a gallows for a baby necessitates a complete revision of standard drop tables.

Without yoghurt, 'condom gags' become increasingly reliant on real semen.

Cutting only the red wire, almost always results in the other wires in the vicinity remaining intact.

Originally Posted by BillyNoMates

Cleethorpes Police have a special "Task Force" that deal
specifically with a horrendous type of anti-social behaviour.
The Cleethorpes Police James Last LP Special Weapons
and Tactics Division will organise dawn raids on any
household that is reported on their anonymous hotline
as being in posession of f***ing James Last LP's. They
will happily smash up any stereo-radiogram of offending
pensioners who play these tunes, and then ensure they
serve a minimum of five years behind bars.
DCI Rocky Malone o/c J.L.S. (James Last Squad) said,
"These b**tards deserve to have their front doors kicked in..."
"They do more damage to residential areas than crack houses,
and it is our job to erradicate them with extreme predjudice".
"We hope to roll out this extermination programme in other
police forces over the next few months."

You've been warned.

I've heard they work in close co-operation with the Greater Manchester Police's Anti Andre Rieu Task Force and Surrey Constabularies Danial O'Donnel Gang Busters.
Essex Constabulary has set up Border Control Check Points to hinder the spread of Roger Whitaker Kareoke Competitions from East London, the Met as per is unable to cope as the whistling upsets it's K9 units.

Type "Yahoo" in the Google search window, and you can break the interwebs...