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..........but as the cutter made it's way closer he started to make out some of the people on the small boat. 'Could it be?' The QM pondered to himself, 'surely not, the girls on that boat look exactly like Lucy Pinder and Keeley from page 3!' He called over the Bosun's mate to get a second opinion. 'Here shippers have a look through these bins, are those the tarts from page 3 or am I going mad?'

The BM picked up the bins and used his steeley gaze, honed by years of gunnery, to see what the QM was rabbiting on about.

'kin ell!! Exclaimed the BM it's................

....a bunch of Kyties from Boogey Street in Singers!! Georgous looking, big boobs, exquisite clothing and make-up but with the tell-tail Adams Apple and a bulge between the legs where no bulge should be on a lady! What's the skipper playing at and why is he bringing them onboard ?? .............

Maybe to give them spelling lessons as he could have sworn it was Bugis Street and he was sure he wasn't THAT pissed, anyway, too late now - maybe he can palm them off on the QM, BM and duty hand instead of big eats

...as an aside from the story; it might well be 'Bugis Street' on the nameplate but I always knew it as BOOGEY Street !!

Back to the story..........

...........Sudenly a harbour patrol boat with some reggies on board, came speeding toward the cutter. The reggies boarded the cutter and promptly arrested Oldsparker on suspicion of veering this thread dangerously off course and Anglichanin for being a pedantic fcuker. The harbour patrol boat then escorted the skipper and his ladyboys back towards the ship.

The QM took a long drag on his Lambert and Butler and picked up the main broadcast ready to make a pipe..............

"Officer of the day gangway".

The cutter contiunued to close the ship.The QM and bosun mate were awiaitn the arrival of the officer of the day to salute the saide as the captain returned on board. At that moment Lt Phillips, the second officer of the watch arrived.

"Did you want me".

"Skipper coming back onboard with guests Sir".

"Oh No.........................

No, not the one about returning table tennis equipment or requesting seaman stayne to report the bedding store. Neither was it the one about the small arms store ......... this one was going down in legend...

.........in all the confusion, caused by two people replying to the same post at the same time, no one had noticed the upperdeck sentry who had spent the whole watch getting shiters on the hangar roof with his oppo smudge. They were both now three sheets to the wind and the UDS leaned over, looking down onto the flightdeck, with Lt Phillips stood directly beneath him.......