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In the Wardroom, Lt/Cdr O' Riley, the gunnery officer was recovering from his dinner time session, he dreamed he was again back in Bermuda, and could feel the intense heat around his lower legs, it was becomming unbearable, he awoke with a start! "Steward shift me from the fire, I'm burning"" he lcried... Leading Steward Patterson ran towards Guns, poised with the soda syphon.....

only to trip up on an empty Pimms bottle. The soda syphon flew out of his hand and ended up firmly lodged.....

........in the backside of Lt/Cdr O' Riley. The syphon had been a hand-me-down of his father and his father's father, highlighting a generational mandate of the attendance of Patterson males to clown college. He hadn't half irked his parents, when he told them he was joining the drew. At least some of his clown college training was coming in handy and he hoped that despite being near to the hoses, the hilarity of the woefully inadequate syphon would not be lost on Lt/Cdr O'Riley.

Realising the syphon was 6 up the old' basts arse, he cried.......

Originally Posted by trelawney126

In the Wardroom, Lt/Cdr O' Riley, the gunnery officer was recovering from his dinner time session, he dreamed he was again back in Bermuda, and could feel the intense heat around his lower legs, it was becomming unbearable, he awoke with a start! "Steward shift me from the fire, I'm burning"" he lcried... Leading Steward Patterson ran towards Guns, poised with the soda syphon.....

"You dozy twat " Shouted Lt./Cdr O'Riley as the leading steward soaked his trousers with the soda syphon. "Dont talk to me like that" said the steward" Or Ill slap in to see some bastard about it".

Originally Posted by jesse

Originally Posted by trelawney126

In the Wardroom, Lt/Cdr O' Riley, the gunnery officer was recovering from his dinner time session, he dreamed he was again back in Bermuda, and could feel the intense heat around his lower legs, it was becomming unbearable, he awoke with a start! "Steward shift me from the fire, I'm burning"" he lcried... Leading Steward Patterson ran towards Guns, poised with the soda syphon.....

"You dozy twat " Shouted Lt./Cdr O'Riley as the leading steward soaked his trousers with the soda syphon. "Dont talk to me like that" said the steward" Or Ill slap in to see some bastard about it".

..was what the Lt/Cdr wish he could have been saying in this situation but the sheer reality of the ever-encroaching soda syphon was becoming swiftly more worrying by the second. He remembered his IOT, specifically the "What to do when gagged and being mistaken for a lady-boy by the men" section and realised that the best way to dislodge the bottle was to......

Recoiling in horror at the stewards threat, he fell against the Action Station Alarm, The alarm sounded throughout the ship, both the steward and Guns frozen to the spot with the sudden realisation that the alarm could not be muted as it had shorted out, having been soaked with soda......

.........stand up on the wardroom table and demand an end to all this nonsense, meanwhile the QM, BM and Upperdeck Sentry, who could now barely stand, where gearing up to come off watch. The QM ordered the BM to ditch the take away packaging and take the PS3 back down the mess while he called the duty PO to do the weapon handover. As the BM was walking back to the mess, on 2 Deck he saw the WE roundsman who was..........

Racing towards his action station. The companionways were awash with heving bodies half dressed racing to their place of duty.. Taloolah was the first to enter the wardroom being the leading hand of the first aid station,
her lithesome body semi-naked edging around the wardroom door. She had just come from the shower and still dripping wet had put on her white blouse which was now saturated with cold water, making her nipples stand out, so much so that they entered the wardroom two minutes before she did........