Rum Ration
the Navy Network

There was a young Vampire called Mabel,
Who's periods were reg'lar and Stable,
So ev'ry Full Moon,
With the help of a Spoon,
She drank herself under the Table!

There once was a Bishop of Bings,
Who spoke of his God and such things,
But his Secret Desire,
Was a Boy in the Choir,
With a Bottom like Jelly on Springs!

There was an old gaucho called Bruno,
Who said: "if there's one thing I do know
"a woman is fine
"a boy is devine
"But a llama is numero uno"

From the depths of the crypt at St Giles
Came a scream that could be hear for miles.
Said the vicar, "goodness gracious,
It's Father Ignatius,
He's forgotten the Bishop has piles"

There was a young lady from Kew
Who said as the Bishop withdrew
The Vicar is quicker, and slicker, and thicker
And three inches longer than you.

There once was an ugly duckling
it feathers all matted and torn
all the swans geese and parrots
raped its arse on the bandmasters lawn

Humpty dumpty shat on the wall
Humpty dumpty hacked off one ball
All the kings horses and All the kings men
raped his arse and cut him into small peices and lobbed the fat cnut in a canal

There was a young girl from the Azores,
Who's fanny was covered in sores,
Not a dog in the street,
Would go near the green meat,
That hung in excess from her drawers.

Jack and Jill went up the Hill
To fetch a mong for slaughter
the pointy headed dozy cnuts
didn't realise it was thier daughter

There once was a dirty old bloke,
Who picked up a whore for a poke.
He took down her pants,
Fucked her into a trance,
And sh!t in her shoe for a joke.

Baa Baa black sheep, have you got a prick,
Yes Sir, Yes Sir 8 inches thick,
Fcuked the master, shagged a Damn
And sucked off alittle boy who lives down the lane.

JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL
TO CHEW ON JILLS GREAT FANNY
JACK CAME DOWN WITH A BIT OF A FROWN
COS JILL'S IN FACT A TRANNY