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Discuss STUMPY - The Tales of an Army Search Dog in N Ireland in The Book Club on Navy Net; Some of you may have heard about and indeed read about the famous Stumpy and his handler Auld Sapper on ARRSE. Well AS has now brought the stories into book form and those of you ...
- 26-04-12, 12:39 #1
STUMPY - The Tales of an Army Search Dog in N Ireland
Some of you may have heard about and indeed read about the famous Stumpy and his handler Auld Sapper on ARRSE. Well AS has now brought the stories into book form and those of you who served in NI, or just enjoyed a good laugh out loud would love these stories.
have a look at the original stories here
'kin 'ell, its busy in here
and the post on ARRSE about the new book
Stumpy & the Auld Sapper
Here is a wee taster from the stories where Stumpy is first told he is going to be working with "THEM"
Now, as luck would have it, when my oppo was RTU'd to Melton he found that the chap who'd trained him was now the head honcho and he decided that the boy should get another chance. He decided to return him to a rural posting instead of an Urban one as it transpired that not only was he epileptic but he'd developed a psycopathic hatred of all things civilian. So, when I went to wake him that night, in my civvys, I should'nt have been overly surprised when he tore out the bed box and grabbed me by the feckin' leg !!!
'GOB CHA !! CIBBY BABBSTARD !!! he growled through clenched teeth.
'OW, IT'S ME YE STUPID WEE CNUT !!! LEMME FECKIN' GO !!'
'HUH, SOBBY ! WHABBA FUBB OO IB CIBBYS FO ? CNUT' he snarled,
'WE'VE GORRA FECKIN JOB YA MAD WEE SHITE. NOW FECKIN GERROFF MA F*CKING LEG OR I'LL F*CKING DOB YOU !'
'CNUT !' he huffed.
'Enough !! c'mon !'
When we arrived at so and so I headed for the Ops Room,
'Evening sir, what you got for us ?'
'Ah Wagtail, yes, you've been tasked by THEM for something or other, they'll pick you up in 15 minutes and why are your trousers all torn !'
'Long story, Well this should be interesting. Never worked for THEM before and we're not supposed to work in the dark. Still, whats the job.'
'F*cked if I know son, no-one tells me anything, I'm only the Ops Officer. Now b*gger orf.'
So 'orf'we b*ggered and awaited THEM.