Well from that I can deduce that a) your cock is clearly not a nice and shiny as the Pandora bracelet b) you have a very sensible wife.
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No woman can truely be satisfied because no man will ever have a chocolate penis which ejaculates money

I'll be somewhere up a mountain in the Eglington Valley, Fiordland National Park (Priorities!).
So will leave a card and the latest of a lot (On her 2nd bracelet.) of Pandora charms to be opened on the day and will make up for my absence, romantic meal and free and unhindered use of my body during the week.
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It takes 72 muscles to frown...but only 4 to raise a middle finger.

After nearly 20 years of marriage, buying the roses, choccies etc for years, last year I thought I would do something different.

With her being a keen gardener, I bought her a lovely rose to plant in the garden.

And also gave her a big bucket of horseshit too.

A very nice touch, dont you think?

I was thinking she would like a nice pearl necklace with earings to match.
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The NHS.... Hitting the targets but missing the point......

It is better to arrive late in this life than early in the next.

One of my gf's girl-mates has told me what she likes (Still trying to work out what that means..) so hopefully I should be able to duck and cover this one.

I bought my missus a matching bag and belt for Valentines day ...
























































The hoover works a treat again now!!
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Give a man a fish and he'll feed his family for a day,

teach a man to fish and he'll sit round on a boat all day drinking beer.

Aww, your Missus is a lucky women Jim! hehe. xx

I'm not in some strange American sect you know!
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Give a man a fish and he'll feed his family for a day,

teach a man to fish and he'll sit round on a boat all day drinking beer.

Ha, sorry. I am still suffering from concussion so my typing is probably not the best! Lx

As long as i buy her a card that tends to keep her trap shut.

I saw an advert that said "Render her speechless with one of our Diamond engagement rings".

Why dont they just come out and say it. "Diamonds, that'll shut her up"

I had the best weekend ever in London. Look what I saw in the window of Debenhams in Oxford Street! They are really, live, almost naked men!!


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No woman can truely be satisfied because no man will ever have a chocolate penis which ejaculates money

Can we have a picture, please

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Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them...
"Don't make me write your name on my shit list!"
Your lips are moving, but all I hear is 'BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...'
"I don't have ADD, it's just... Hey look! A squirrel!"

The early hours of my Valentine's Day (3am) were spent outside a nightclub in Norway, dealing with dozens of pissed up squaddies scrapping with locals in a snow blizzard.

Nice...
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Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them...
"Don't make me write your name on my shit list!"
Your lips are moving, but all I hear is 'BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...'
"I don't have ADD, it's just... Hey look! A squirrel!"